guys I hate it when my roommate’s girlfriend comes over because then it is approximately 10,000 times more embarrassing if I toot when I pee

reallyreallyreallytrying:

to get a sense of how big the universe is, imagine a window. now imagine a guy leaning in the window and explaining that it’s super big, and huge

seriously when did my hair get this long

seriously when did my hair get this long

pastabot:

fluxxxy i thought you tagged me in a frog post and i nearly bought a ticket to throw your ass out of a moving train

please buy the ticket anyway because I suck all the same

sadgirlsinc replied to your post: anonymous said:hi i hope u no tha…

this is like the time i was complaining abt the birthday banner being like “WHY DO PPL LOVE THIS” and someone sent me a message being like “it’s a bright eyes reference”

oh my GOD

I think the internet is so sarcastic at this point that people assume everyone else is being totally earnest and they feel the need to explain jokes and pop culture to them

Anonymous said: hi i hope u no that that sign is for a movie called sex tape and then a movie called transformers! I'm sure u no that I'm sorry goodbye

yes thank u for explaining this to me or else I would have really thought that the movie theater that shows lots of family movies that is also right next to the major mall of Portland was showing a robot porn film

thank u

rnegastar:

WHAT A TIME TO BE ALIVE

omg is this at Lloyd Center right now???????? am I really considering taking the max to confirm that this is happening

rnegastar:

WHAT A TIME TO BE ALIVE

omg is this at Lloyd Center right now???????? am I really considering taking the max to confirm that this is happening

(via goonerballs)

And how hard is it to land even a minimum-wage job? This year, the Ivy League college admissions acceptance rate was 8.9%. Last year, when Walmart opened its first store in Washington, D.C., there were more than 23,000 applications for 600 jobs, which resulted in an acceptance rate of 2.6%, making the big box store about twice as selective as Harvard and five times as choosy as Cornell. Telling unemployed people to get off their couches (or out of the cars they live in or the shelters where they sleep) and get a job makes as much sense as telling them to go study at Harvard.
"Why Don’t the Unemployed Get Off Their Couches?" and Eight Other Critical Questions for Americans (via seriouslyamerica)

(via sadgirlsinc)

someoneatethis:

I wrote a song:
Everything is good
Everything is nice
Everybody likes me
And everything is good

whoever made this food is unquestionably a fucking serial killer

someoneatethis:

I wrote a song:

Everything is good

Everything is nice

Everybody likes me

And everything is good

whoever made this food is unquestionably a fucking serial killer

barfpop:

me promoting immaculat vodka at the opening of lif night club in vegas

barfpop:

me promoting immaculat vodka at the opening of lif night club in vegas

(via deadinthewater)

lauren, 23, portland. i'm bratty and sleepy and am a passionate feminist. i like stella and autumn de wilde and anthony green and coffee and boners and lomography and horror movies and oversleeping. formerly crochetguevara

view archive



about me

face/me

music I listen to

w/e ask me something